The
Butterfly
Caterpillar
Ugly, ungainly,
unloved, unwanted
Struggling
for survival -
Looking for
enough to eat
Trying to escape
my enemies
Wanting to
rest safely
Growing, but
not changing
Feeling the
same, only …
More ugly as
time passes
More disgusting,
more unloved,
More unwanted,
more vulnerable
Caterpillar
Cocoon
So tired, Have
something I NEED to do
Don't know
why, don't know what
Just know I
have to
Building a
shell around me
Giving me time
to "heal"
Time to rest,
time to change
Don't understand
what is going on
Inside of me,
I'm feeling "different"
What is happening??
Don't care
anymore
Whatever happens,
happens
Don't care
if anyone else likes me, anymore
I'm me … like
me or reject me, I'm me …
Cocoon
Emergence
Ready to come
out
Face the world,
again
Feel a little
stronger
Feel a little
weaker
Different,
yet I'm still me
Still worry
about safety
Still need
to find sustenance
Still need
to survive
Still me …
yet different
More accepting
of myself
Less willing
to bend to other's
Views of what
I "should" be
Emergence
Butterfly
I am changed
Outward … more
colorful
The dark colors
are still there, but now …
Instead of
overwhelming me
They set off
the beautiful kaleidoscope
Of wonderful
colors - the good in my life
Is more pronounced,
is more appreciated
BECAUSE of
the darkness that has shown itself
Within my life
… It is ALL "me"
And I am beautiful
Inside, and
out
Butterfly
Freedom
Where before
each step
Was slow, plodding,
time and energy consuming
One step before
the other
Eyes straight
ahead, focused on the goal
Of making it
through this day, through this hour
Through this
minute, if need be
Now, I soar
on the wind
Drifting, diving,
changing directions
Not feeling
guilty, not needing to apologize
To anyone else
for my life
I can now dance
on the wind of my life
Take time to
play, to enjoy life
To be everything
I always wanted to be
Everything
I was meant to be
Everything
I never thought I could be
Everything
that others said I wouldn't be
Everything
that I didn't believe,
When some would
say I COULD be, someday …
Appreciating
the joy and freedom more fully
Because of
the pain, struggle, and oppression
That came before
Freedom, blessed
freedom
My friends,
I am looking forward to when I will be fully complete, when the dark in
my life will simply be a foil, contrasting with and setting off the good
in my life, instead of threatening to overwhelm me with its depression,
with the lurking shadows yet undefined. I know there is a butterfly
inside me, waiting to come out - I want to spread my wings … and I look
forward to the time I can join those of you who have your wings already
in the dance of life, and to the time those of you who are also still waiting,
can join with me in the dance …
I love butterflies,
and am amazed that each and every one is different - just like us.
Ever looked at a field alive with dancing butterflies?? So many kinds
and types, each with their own kind of beauty. Even when
they are the same species, their markings are still individual, still unique
… just as we are. Some of us have more dark colors in our life, some
have more brilliance - but we are all beautiful. We are all special,
and we ALL have the capability to bring love, laughter, and healing peace
into the lives of those we touch.
Thank you for
letting me share with you …
Sandy Mendenhall
stilllittlelady2@yahoo.com
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