My only sister had a stroke this week and although she is ok it kicked me into gear as she has had several heart attacks previously and I have come close to losing her a few times. My sister and I never met until I was 19 as we were raised in different homes. (I was 9 months old and Rose was 4 years old when we were separated). I was pregnant with my eldest daughter Tonya when I met my sister for the first time and she had a little girl who was 2 years old. It is ironic that we both had our first child in July. What is also ironic is that over the years (although most of the time we have lived many miles apart ) one of us would feel if the other was in pain or was sad. When I went into labour with my first child she felt the pain and called me immediately. Over the years there have been many incidents that have caused one or the other of us to stop what we were doing and call the other because we "felt" something inside about the other. Usually we were correct.

My sis and I have had our ups and downs over the years but we always seem to come back together in the end. Rose is nearly 4 years older then I am but we are enough alike to have been twins at times. Our lives often ran parallel even before we knew each other. She never forgot her baby sister and even told me what I was wearing the day I was taken away. I know she is telling me the truth because my Mother had told me what I had on the day she got me. Rose used to think I was a doll that she could dress up and play with. She told me she cried for days when I was removed from the home. Funny what a little girl remembers isn't it? She was only 4 but she remembered a little pink tattered dress and a wet soggy diaper and a pair of tiny shoes that had no straps to hold them on. She remembers that I slept in a dresser drawer because I was so tiny. When I was 9 months old I only weighed 13 pounds. (boy have I ever put on the pounds since then heheehehe).

Anyway, throughout the years Rose and I had our ups and downs and one time went nearly 2 years without speaking. It hurt us both but we were both stubborn and I especially had a hard time back then forgiving someone if they hurt me and at that time I felt that my sis had done me a great injustice. Little did I know that she saved me from more years of abuse from a drunken husband. I left my husband then and have not been physically abused since. I owe her a thank you for opening my eyes back then to the louse he was.

Both my sis and I lived lives of abuse and continued on thinking that is how life was supposed to be. We went our separate ways and heard from one another now and then. Finally about 10 years ago we decided that it was time to grow up and accept each other as we are and not as we felt each other should or could be. We put the past in the past where it belongs and decided that our lives started that day. It is amazing how that can change your life and your relationship with your sister :).

About 2 years ago my sis needed to be rescued from a lousy situation so i gassed up my car and made the 6 hour drive to take her out of her home and bring her to live with me. We got her a place of her own and soon she was doing better then she ever had. During the 8 months she lived across the road from me we developed a relationship different then we ever had before. We laughed a lot and cried a bit and when we would argue we would solve it over the dining room table with a plate of eggs on toast. But we always solved the problem one way or the other.

I am grateful for those few months that we lived so close as it helped us deal with the past and helped us realize that no matter what, we were sisters first. Now we do not judge each other for any reason but just try to understand and offer what we hope is constructive support. My sister has since returned to her marriage and although she still goes through very rough times I am not here to judge but to listen.  I know she has to do what she feels she has to do.

Anyway, the most important thing is that there is no past between us and that what we do have between us is love. We still do not always agree on what each other does but now we disagree with love instead of judgment. We have learned that life is too short to waste by arguing.

Below is a picture of my sister Rose (in blue) and myself . Below that is a little ditty that I received from my friend Grenache that made me think of my sister Rose.