Well it is nearly the end of another year once again. In reflecting back over 1999 I must tell you that I have so much to be thankful for. It has been a good year for me. Despite daily pain in my body I must say I had a lot of happiness in my heart.

I am so blessed. My two beautiful daughters-my perfectly wonderful granddaughters--good friends online and off--my absolutely wonderful fur babies--and so much more.

I have always tried to see the silver lining beneath every cloud that did manage to sneak in this year. I have tried to be good to others and treat folks the way I wish to be treated myself. I have tried hard to be there for my family here and for my friends when they have needed me most.

I have tried to be kind and loving to everyone and you know I think that I succeeded for the most part  :)  No one is infallible and I know that I have slipped up here and there as most humans do-but I think for the most part I have done pretty good.

There have been some changes in my life this past year but they have all pretty much been for the positive and not the negative.

The most important thing that has really taken a front seat is the strengthening of my spirituality. Never before have I felt closer to my "Higher Power". I have gained more inner peace and I am more content with life then I have ever been. I have tended to see my blessings more then ever before as well. I have finally learned to let go and let "God". This is something I definitely needed to learn to do. I have finally come to realize that I can not carry the weight of the world on my shoulders and I can not continue to question myself about things once they are over and done. 

The second most important thing that I have learned this past year is to find myself more. To search my soul and to put my life into proper perspective.I have found the past memories much easier to remember and deal with and I owe a huge thank you to my best friend Donna for that. She has always been there to help me through things that would of been more difficult for me to deal with alone. Donna has helped me to find the inner me and deal with and face many things this year. As she and I grow closer in friendship I find myself learning to like myself more and to realize that the past is the past and that it is better to dwell on the good things and let go of the bad. To stop blaming myself for things I had no control over and could not have changed, to realize that things that have happened to me have strengthened me and taught me lessons that I needed to learn.I have learned to live with the decisions I have made along the way. I have accepted who I am and have come to terms with the fact that I am not such a bad person and in doing so have come to like me for myself. I have learned that I cannot be to everyone what they need or want. I have finally learned that I can only extend myself so far. I have learned my own limits.  Thank you Donna for being there and for helping me along the way.

In closing this year of 1999 and entering the year of 2000 I have made no resolutions because I think that the best thing I can do is just be myself and make no promises that I cannot keep. By making no promises I will not risk causing anyone hurt if they cannot be kept. I will continue to do the best I can at all that I do and remember that I am not perfect and can only do so much. 

God Bless you all and may the year ahead be filled with happiness and pleasant surprises.

hugs
Misker
December 26/99