Well here I am back again. You know the older I get the more I think of what will happen when I am not here.  One of the things that comes to mind a lot is --How will my grandchildren remember me? (at this writing they are 10 and 7).

 Will they remember me as Justine used to say when she was little--"oh ya that is Curly Gramma, the one who smells pretty." or will Shantel remember me as the Gramma she calls and says, "Hey girlfriend, what's up?"

Will they remember how they call me up and excitedly tell me about their first day of school and all the wonderful things that happened that day and how pretty their teacher is. Justine thinks this year that her teacher is a hunk of a man. Shantel thinks her teacher is the most beautiful lady she has ever had for a teacher.

You know the babies never call me without saying, "I Love You Gramma" and then they follow it up with a big kiss which over the phone sure does smack in my ear. I LOVE IT !!!!
I hear how Justine is "having a baddddddddddd day". This may be because she can not find her newest pretty for her hair or just because she felt that sleeping was more important then whatever the task at hand is.

Usually it takes a few sweet words from me and a few kisses over the lines to make her smile. Sometimes it is the promise of me bringing her lunch at school later in the week that will bring her tears to a standstill. It usually does not take much to make her forget her woes and smile for me. Sometimes if it is an owie she has I will tell her to hold it up to the phone and I will send kisses and it is instantly healed. Will she remember that?

Shantel will call me and we will discuss how ewwy boys are--oh how i hope she feels that way for another few years heehehehe. Or she will educate me on the latest music that is so "awesome and kewl". As I sit on my end of the phone and listen to her sing to me with a tune that really needs a bucket to carry it in (LOL) I am close to tears because her sweet voice has chosen me to hear it.

I have a thousand and ten or more of wonderful drawings that they have made me and each one is so perfect. Sometimes if I do not understand what it is that has been drawn by the little artist in question it is explained to me with a look that tells me I must be getting old or blind not to of seen exactly what they have tried to portray.

God has been so good to me giving me these wonderful beautiful little girls to love and enjoy. My heart is totally owned by them. I sat here pondering one day about the fact that I have no legacy to leave these children and I figured that the best thing I could do was to be the best Gramma I could be. Oh how I hope I succeed.

I have printed out every page of my web site including my guest book so that one day when I am no longer here they will have something to go through. Hopefully it will help them to see the things in my life that were important to me and hopefully they will learn about the inside of their Gramma. The things that made me tick and how I got from one point to another in my life. It will be like a journal of sorts.  I want them to see that Gramma was not perfect and Gramma was not infallible but that I learned a lot along the way of my life.

I do not have a fortune to leave them in money nor do I have a lot of material things for them to hang onto and gather dust over the years. But, hopefully I can leave them knowing my heart was in the right place and that all the love in the world was theirs for the taking.

There is nothing I would not give of my body to save one of their lives and there is nothing that I would not do if it were within my power to help them in life. Hmm for some reason I have run out of words.............

Misker 
Sept. 9/99