An older, tired-looking
dog wandered into my yard; I could tell
from his collar and well-fed
belly that he had a home and was
well taken care of.
He calmly came over to
me, I gave him a few pats on his head;
he then followed me into
my house, slowly walked down the
hall, curled up in the
corner and fell asleep.
An hour later, he went
to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back,
greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and
again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.
Curious I pinned a note
to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful
sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your
dog comes to my house for a nap.'
The next day he arrived
for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: 'He lives in a
home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on
his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?'
She was in the bathroom,
putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter
as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and
started to leave, the little one said, 'But Gramma, you forgot to kiss
the toilet paper good-bye!'
#####
My young grandson
called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was,
and I told him, '62.' He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked,
'Did you start at 1?'
#####
After putting her
grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy
blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children
getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally,
she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting
them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard
the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, 'Who was THAT?'
##### ;
A grandmother was
telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: 'We used
to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung
from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries
in the woods.' The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in.
At last she said, 'I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!'
#####
My grandson was visiting
one day when he asked, 'Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?'
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, 'No, how are we alike?'
'You're both old,'
he replied.
#####
A little girl was
diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor.
She told him she was writing a story. 'What's it about?' he asked.
'I don't know,' she replied. 'I can't read.'
#####
I didn't know if my granddaughter
had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point
out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was
always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last
she headed for the door, saying sagely, 'Grandma, I think you should try
to figure out some of these yourself!'
#####
When my grandson Billy
and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were
inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies
followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, 'It's
no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.'
#####
When my grandson asked
me how old I was, I teasingly replied, 'I'm not sure.' 'Look in your
underwear, Grandpa,' he advised. 'mine says I'm four to six.'
#####
A second grader came
home from school and said to her grandmother, 'Grandma, guess what?
We learned how to make babies today.' The grandmother, more than
a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. 'That's interesting,' she said,
'how do you make babies?' 'It's simple,' replied the girl. 'You just
change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'.'
#####
Children's Logic: 'Give
me a sentence about a public servant,' said a teacher. The small boy wrote:
'The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.' The teacher took the
lad aside to correct him. 'Don't you know what pregnant means?' she asked.
'Sure,' said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child.'
#####
A nursery school teacher
was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck
zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck was a Dalmatian
dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.
'They use him to keep
crowds back,' said one child.
'No,' said another, 'he's
just for good luck.'
A third child brought
the argument to a close. 'They use the dogs,' she said firmly, 'to
find the fire hydrants...
