Strict, Unbending Rules For Dealing With Stray Cats
  • Stray cats will not be fed.
  • Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food.
  • Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with a little milk.
  • Stray cats will not be fed anything except dry cat food moistened with warm milk, yummy treats and leftover fish scraps.
  • Stray cats will not be encouraged to make this house their permanent residence.
  • Stray cats will not be petted, played with or picked up and cuddled unnecessarily.
  • Stray cats that are petted, played with, picked up and cuddled will absolutely not be given a name.
  • Stray cats with or without a name will not be allowed inside the house at any time.
  • Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except at certain times.
  • Stray cats will not be allowed inside the house except on days ending in "y".
  • Stray cats allowed inside will not be permitted to jump up on or sharpen their claws on the furniture.
  • Stray cats will not be permitted to jump up on, or sharpen claws on the really good furniture.
  • Stray cats will be permitted on all furniture but must sharpen claws on new $114.99 sisal-rope cat-scratching post with three perches.
  • Stray cats will answer the call of nature outdoors in the sand.
  • Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the three-piece, high-impact plastic tray filled with Fresh'n'Sweet kitty litter.
  • Stray cats will answer the call of nature in the hooded litter pan with a three-panel privacy screen and plenty of head room.
  • Stray cats will sleep outside.
  • Stray cats will sleep in the garage.
  • Stray cats will sleep in the house.
  • Stray cats will sleep in a cardboard box lined with an old blanket.
  • Stray cats will sleep in the special Kitty-Komfort-Bed with non-allergenic lamb's wool pillow.
  • Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed.
  • Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed, except at the foot.
  • Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers.
  • Stray cats will not be allowed to sleep in our bed under the covers except at the foot.
  • Stray cats will not play on the desk.
  • Stray cats will not play on the desk near the computer.
  • Stray cats are forbidden to walk on the computer keyboard on the desk when the human is asdfjjhhkl;ljfd.;oier'puyykmm4hbdm9lo9jmdskdm,.USING IT.


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